Sometimes while glazing over lines upon lines of code I question myself.
Looking up into the stars I am reminded of our true purpose.
Computing is ultimately just a tool, and I think sometimes we can forget that. We should not lose our connection or our humanity in our pursuit of technological progress.
Our species is sicker than ever, mentally, ideologically, and physically. Initially technology provided great benefits to our species, but increasingly it is also causing harms.
Paradoxically we are becoming increasingly disconnected and hostile to one another as a species.
I’m sometimes filled with this sense that I need to do more. I don’t know what yet. I think that is why ultimately I have returned back to studying. Not just for career related opportunities, but also for a spiritual thirst. A desire to explore again.
I still don’t really know my true direction, even at 34 years old. I had success as a web developer, but sometimes churning out websites & services like a human factory could be draining.
Since a young kid I always dreamed of being a scientist. Whenever I looked into a microscope or a telescope, I was often stunned by the similar feelings. Whether you were looking inwards, or outwards, you experience an awareness of connection that is difficult to put into words.
In some ways I guess I am now just returning to my original goal.
I don’t think there is any standard pathway for the path I am now taking. Even though I do not know the destination, a part of me feels it is for the best, in the hopes that someday I can contribute to the healing and progression of our species… and in doing so, perhaps some day find peace & healing myself.
[image credit: Ryan Hutton]